FOUNDATION FOR HEALTHY FAMLIES
PRESENTS
“UNLESS THE LORD BUILDS THE HOUSE ”
Psalm 127 “Unless the lord builds the house you labor in vain.”
So the question is, who has built your house? God values families; in verse 3, He calls children a heritage from Him.
Families are the foundation of society; the home is the place where children are taught of the lord and about faith in Him, it is where they are given Love & Guidance, where they are nurtured. So why are their so many sad children living in families separated by divorce? And not just the ones who have decided to divorce, but those who are living together but separate and this includes CHRISTIAN homes.
I believe many families have chosen to exclude God from there family lives, they have ignored Him and refused to seek after Him as God Himself has instructed.
Matt 6v33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things will be added to you
So when difficulty and troubles come we lean to our own understanding.
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They labor (i.e.) work by the sweat of your brow, To work hard, those who live by their labor & do not have the means of production- labor in vain that attempt to build it. What is God saying here? Even with God as a base it does not mean nor guarantee a perfect family, it does however provide a firm foundation upon which you can build, and most importantly it provides guidelines by which to make decisions when handling difficulties as they arise. So I believe the purpose for this article is to help us find those Godly guidelines, to help us lay a firm foundation for the house we should be building, that is an example of our walk with Christ. There are six common characteristics that must be present in a house that the Lord has built
PRAYER John 17 this prayer allows us a glimpse into Jesus’ heart. Jesus knew He would be passing the mantle of His earthly mission to His disciples. Jesus prayed for them, knowing the opposition would be difficult, that they would experience persecutions from without and temptations and doubt from within. So He prayed for them. He also prayed for us who are believers today. Those who will believe in Me through this word (v20) We can take great comfort in knowing that Jesus prayed for us that night, and He still intercedes for us (Heb 7v25) So as you can see prayer is the first step in building a house according to Gods blue prints. Everything must be covered in prayer Why? 1 peter 5v6-11
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COMMITMENT/COVENANT Genesis 15and 2v18 creates the warm, loving environment in which a family can grow. It offers a harbor that shelters them from the destructive forces of fear, anxiety, and loneliness. At the heart of commitment to the family unit is dedication to the marriage relationship. God sees the covenant between Himself and the husband/wife so crucial to the family that He strongly condemns any violation of that marital covenant. Mal 2v 13-16; Matt 19v8, 9 Eph 5v25, 28 Titus 2v4 Commitment means to be there and not abandon each other and I’d say that’s good. But Covenant goes further it says we will do what ever it takes to love each other, as we should working out every situation, because we are seeking Godly wisdom for our Marriages.
COMMUNICATION No one ever wants to feel alone in the world and especially in there own families in 1 Kings 19v10 the prophet Elijah became despondent when he felt he was alone and the only one who stood up for God. Feeling alone carries a mixture of terror and despair every person needs to know that he/she is part of a whole, Communication is the process in which this sense of belonging is related, it helps us feel connected to each other through the exchange of information. It also helps with resolving problems and resolving conflicts in a constructive way. There are 4 laws to fruitful communication.
(1) Tell the truth Eph4v25
(2) Keep it current Eph 4v26, 27
3) Tackle the issue not the individual Eph 4v29, 30
(4) Pro-active not Reactive Eph 4v31, 32
RESPONSIBILITY Genesis 29 God has entrusted us with the care of his children they do not belong to us, sure we gave birth to them but there lives belong to Him. It is our responsibility to make our marriages and families work and are that example of Gods kingdom here on earth. But what about the man/women who has re-married and are coming together with children, lets look at what God says about blended families. Genesis 29 Jacob had a blended family not by his choosing but because Laban deceived him, as we watch the story unfold we see the struggle between Rachel and Leah sisters who had great hatred for each other, because they both wanted what the other had. This whole thing was made worst by Jacobs’s inability to control his household; he showed obvious favoritism to Rachel’s son Joseph. Instead of providing leadership in his home he allows them to continue to struggle alone. He received cultural respect, but not genuine respect from his other sons. He allowed his family to drift into sin hatred and murder. He made little or no effort to stop what was happening, yes he held his son responsible for there mistakes which he bore part of because he shunned his responsibility to provide clear direction to his family. Blended families require special attention they need more, not less work than single couple families because the relationship increases in complication with the number of people involved. Individual children need to experience genuine love from someone, and parents are not automatically interchangeable. The challenge to making a blended family work requires the participation of everyone, particularly the adults. Passive parenting produces deadly results. Blended parents who actively persist in depending on God and who regularly ask Him for guidance and wisdom (pray), those who take an active role in ALL of their children’s welfare are pursuing the right path. The road has unusual difficulties but those who follow the divine Guide will find they can blend their families together as one.
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TIME TOGETHER Ecclesiastes 3 Chances are our best memories are of simple times we shared with our families and friends. God thought so much about things being done at the appointed time that He inspired Solomon to write a passage concerning time. Members of strong families spend much time together playing, working, talking, having fun and just hanging out together.
ABILITY TO COPE WITH STRESS Psalm 107v19 –20 &46v1-3 People in strong families live in a real world. They encounter the same daily stresses and strains. When you are part of a strong family you can call on each other at any time and because there is already established good communication and commitment to each other. They have the ability to see the need in that situation and help each other through. They rely heavily on their faith in God in difficult times and sometimes all they can do is pray for each other.
SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING Psalm 63v 1-2 the importance of a spiritual center cannot be overstated when it comes to strong families. Reliance upon a power above and beyond them is the glue that holds families together, it makes them strong. Jesus talked about the importance of building our house on a solid foundation (Matt 7v24-25) Spiritual foundations give meaning and purpose to life, freedom from anxiety, guilt, fear and low-esteem as well as a hopeful, confident outlook. It allows our children to know they can turn to us at anytime for Godly for guidance (James1v5)
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